


Rhinestone Eyes

by paralyticdreamer



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Lung Cancer, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, but it was popular on wattpad apparently, i dont have an actual summary whoops, i’ve just thrown canon out into space at this point, post phase three, this was my first gorillaz fic and it kinda sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23817712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paralyticdreamer/pseuds/paralyticdreamer
Summary: A SOL Gorillaz fic, with a twist.
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	1. [one]

**Author's Note:**

> the wattpad version is highly unedited – this is a better(?) version.

"You can't break me."

They were simple words that the singer spoke, but somehow, both he and the bassist knew it was a lie. Murdoc  _could_ and would eventually break 2D down until his mental state was reduced almost to nothing.

The bassist huffed, saying nothing, and left 2D alone. Before leaving though, he heard a broken sob and saw the singer shake once while his hands were placed on the back of his head, clutching his hair desperately.  _Another migraine_ , Murdoc thought, hesitantly but quickly locating the painkillers 2D depended on so much and placing them next to him on the sofa.

Stuart coughed and let his gaze turn up, almost catching a glimpse of the bassist before he'd left. Before the door closed, 2D let out a soft, "thanks". Murdoc turned around and nodded before leaving.

2D coughed again, soft enough to where no one could hear, and sighed. He had no idea why he'd suddenly began coughing so badly when he'd first arrived to the apartment on Wobble Street – he'd been perfectly fine before. He decided that he'd have to eventually get it checked out.

2D erupted into a coughing fit and tried to cover his mouth, but failed in doing so. Eventually, he stopped coughing and began to wheeze. The coughing had made his chest ache horribly, so he walked into the kitchen and got a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water from the sink. Maybe some water would help ease the pain. Luckily, after a sip or two, the pain in his chest had ceased. He went back into the living room with his water and sat down, crossing his legs.

Russel yawned as he walked into the living room. "Damn, 'D, you should really get that cough checked out," he said, causing 2D to groan. "I'll do it eventually. Right now, I'm perfectly fine," he said, taking another sip. "Besides, the water is helping a lot."

Russel rolled his eyes, but nodded, though he didn't believe the singer. "Whatever. Do we have any cereal, or have you forgotten to get some again?"

2D was usually in charge of buying food and paying bills since he was the only one with a job, but he forgot to buy breakfast most of the time, due to both accidents involving Murdoc leaving him with slight brain damage. "I bought a family-sized box of Cocoa Pops and a gallon of milk, so yes, I  _did_ remember," he said, an annoyed tone prominent in his voice. Russel looked taken aback by said tone, but went into the kitchen and the sound of cereal being poured could be heard, then cabinets being shut very loudly, much to 2D's dismay. "Could you  _not_ make so much noise? I have a migraine,” he said loudly.

It was only one-thirty in the afternoon and he  _already_ had a migraine; the pills, despite being 500 milligrams and him having to take two at a time, still didn't work. Eventually, after Russel finished pouring his cereal and Stuart had taken two more painkillers, his head stopped throbbing, only for it to become numb and his vision to become hazy.

He stared at nothing, unsure of what he was meant to be doing. He didn't even notice that he'd coughed so violently that it caused him to gag and almost vomit. 2D was being made to lie down, but he didn't struggle; he only felt numb, like there was nothing around him. In reality, Noodle, Russel and Murdoc were there, concerned as to why he sounded like he was choking. Murdoc only being  _slightly_ concerned.

"His breathing is shallow, but that's probably because he took four painkillers." That was Russel. 2D could both feel and hear himself breathe. It was true about his breathing, but he felt fine. His eyes were wide open, the red color showing through the black. If he'd still had normal eyes, they would've probably been bloodshot. He had bags under his eyes, though, due to an  extreme lack of sleep.

"Why… am I laying down…?" he questioned, slurring. He couldn't control his own speech, not like he cared to anyways: nothing would possibly come out of it. "Here, 2D, drink this," Noodle said gently, but 2D weakly pushed it away. "No..." he said, pouting as if he were a child that had just been told to take a nap. "'D, you have to drink somethi-" Murdoc began, but 2D cut him off. "No!" he yelled, only to cough more, which seemed to sober him up. "No," he said, sighing. "I don't need water. Maybe alcohol, but not water," he said and stood up, pushing past them and going to his room where he kept a secret bottle of rum.

He only drank it when it was absolutely necessary, so it was only half-empty. Today was one of those days where he needed it desperately so when he got to his room, he locked the door and got the bottle out from under his bed. The words  _Saint James_ were still on the front of the bottle. Usually, the words on glass bottles of alcohol wore off, but not this bottle. It was £550, for fuck sake. Of  course it would be in good condition for quite a while.

By the time he'd finished the bottle, he was almost a drunken mess. The bottle was carelessly tossed onto the ground and almost immediately, there were four hard knocks on the door. "Aye, Dents! Open up!"

"No!" Stuart yelled, but the person didn't listen and kept knocking, so he got annoyed. He finally unlocked the door, immediately noticing Murdoc, who was shirtless. "Damn..." he said, his mouth wide open and his eyes almost popping out of his head.

2D began to laugh, clutching his stomach to avoid cramping. But it didn't save his lungs from malfunctioning and forcing him to cough. "Ugh. Damnit, I ruin everything."

Murdoc just stood there in silence, confused by the sudden change in mood, then he walked past the drunken man and pulled him along, making him lie down. "What... what're ya doin'?" 2D asked, looking suspiciously at the man who had picked him up and forced him to lie down. "You need to rest. Now."

2D huffed, but easily fell asleep, leaving Murdoc to search his room for anymore alcohol as he was a heavy sleeper. 

"G'night, Faceache." Then he left.


	2. [two]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2D shows Noodle their newest album.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot is still ‘eh’ in the sense that it’s kinda coming to fruition but won’t exist until chapter 4

When 2D woke up, it was almost one in the morning. He could hear soft strumming coming from Noodle's room, so he got out of bed and quietly walked out of his room then down to her's. He knocked on the door softly, and the strumming stopped long enough for her to open the door. "Oh, it's just you. Did you sleep well?" she asked and 2D nodded. "Yeah. Can I come in?"

Noodle nodded and walked back into her room. "Close the door when you do. I don't want to wake anybody.”

A brief pause. “Did I wake you?" she asked and 2D shook his head. Noodle gestured for 2D to sit beside her on the floor. "Can you sing for me? I want to get it right."

Noodle began to play the beginning of the chorus for  _Feel Good Inc_ , sighing as she messed up a few of the chords. "Here, maybe if I sing first, it'll help," 2D said and Noodle nodded. "I'll start at the beginning." He cleared his throat and started at the beginning of the song.

Noodle smiled and began to play, the chords coming almost naturally. 2D grinned and began to sing, his soft voice filling the room.

The rest of the acoustic guitar part was played flawlessly, and 2D applauded quietly. "Thank you, 2D. I feel less frustrated now," Noodle said and 2D nodded. Then he got an idea. "Hey, have ya heard our latest album?" he asked and Noodle cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Plastic Beach?" she asked and he shook his head. "No, I'll be back. Hold on," he said and left, returning a few minutes later with his iPad.

"It’s called  _The Fall_ —it's an album I wrote when we were on the American leg of the Escape To Plastic Beach tour," 2D explained, sitting back down. “And I made it with this exact iPad."

He turned the iPad on and typed the password in; it lit up the already lamp-lit room with a white glow. He opened his music, which was filled with bands like  _The Clash_ ,  _Blur_ ,  _Oasis_ ,  _The Human League_ and of course, Gorillaz. He searched for  _The Fall_ and tapped on the album. "Which one do you want to hear first?" he asked and Noodle tapped on  _Revolving Doors_ .

It began playing and Noodle grinned. "So you actually wrote this  entire  album?" she asked and 2D nodded. "Yeah, although I did just mess around on two of the songs. They're called Seattle Yodel and The Speak-It Mountains. I'd rather you not listen to those—they're pretty weird. I might have even been high whenever I wrote them. I was on Plastic Beach for two years after Murdoc kidnapped me."

2D shuddered as he remembered everything—waking up in a suitcase and having to kick it open, being stuck in a room with a whale that watched his every move, the abuse that was worse than ever, being extremely depressed. Being on Plastic Beach was terrifying and he was glad that it was destroyed, and he was back on the mainland.

He shook his head, removing the memories from his brain.  Revolving Doors had finished and Noodle tapped on  Amarillo . "Ooh, I like this one! Who'd you write it for?" she asked and 2D froze. "Oh, uh...  _nobody_ ," he lied nonchalantly. "I just wanted to write it. That's all."

Noodle could see through his lies, but she just shrugged. Hey, if Murdoc could write the entirety of Plastic Beach for no reason, 2D could write Amarillo for no reason.

There were a few songs that made 2D question Murdoc's motives for writing them— _Broken_ ,  _To Binge_ ,  _Empire Ants_ ,  _Rhinestone Eyes_ and  _On Melancholy Hill_ —but he'd never asked. It wasn't his business, anyhow. What Murdoc wrote songs about was his business. Eventually, when Murdoc was willing to explain, 2D would ask. Not until then.

The two went downstairs after six hours of idle conversation, but not before 2D took two painkillers to hopefully ease whatever migraines he hopefully wouldn't have. But with Murdoc around...  _who knows_ .

2D and Noodle sat on the sofa, waiting for Russel and Murdoc to wake up. Murdoc, surprisingly, was already awake and just in the kitchen. "Oi, Dents! Don't we have anything  good  to eat?" he asked loudly, annoying 2D. "I just bought stuff two  _days_ ago, Muds. Give me a break, m'sick," he said, not  _wanting_ to admit that he was sick, but he had anyway. Murdoc walked into the living room, looking the singer up and down in disbelief. "Since when? You were completely fine the other day. You know what, you're probably still dru-"

Murdoc didn't get to continue his ranting because 2D ran to the bathroom and threw up, blood mixed into the substance. It was gross, to say the least. He'd locked the door so nobody could come in, but he heard a knock. "2D, are you alright?" Noodle asked. "Yeah, m'fine," he said, throwing up once again. "Perfectly fine. Murdoc's right, 'm probably still drunk."

Then he blacked out.

* * *

Noodle had tried countless times to open the door, failing each time until Russel—who'd woken up due to all of the pounding—completely took the door off its hinges.

There 2D was, lying on the tiled floor in front of the toilet with his eyes closed. The toilet hadn't been flushed, so the contents from his stomach were still in there, along with the blood. But neither Noodle nor Russel saw anything, so they didn't worry. 

Russel picked 2D up and carried him into the living room, lying him down on the sofa. "What the hell happened to Faceache?" Murdoc asked, frowning. "He was unconscious in the bathroom, not that  you  care," Noodle said dryly. "Ah, well, you’re right; I  _don't_ care."

Murdoc sat in the armchair, carefully studying 2D with a small hint of guilt in his mismatched eyes. He'd only seen him completely unconscious once, but that was when he'd tried to kill himself back on Plastic Beach. He'd swallowed too many painkillers, but had thrown them back up, thankfully. Murdoc couldn't lose the singer of his band.

Eventually, 2D woke up and looked around. How had he gotten here? One second he was in the bathroom and then...  _oh no_ . What if someone had  _seen_ ? He got up quickly and ran to the bathroom, where he flushed the evidence that he was more than just sick. There, now  _nobody_ could figure out that something was seriously wrong with him.

2D calmly walked back downstairs, ignoring the confused glances from the other three band members. "You're acting really strange 2D, and that's not supposed to be a  _bad_ thing." He didn't know if he should take Noodle's comment as a compliment or not, so he just started to whistle the tune of  _Rhinestone Eyes_ .

He walked into the kitchen before singing the song quietly, but loud enough that he could be heard. "I'm a scary gargoyle on a tower, that you made with plastic power. Your rhinestone eyes are like factories far away , " he sang and whistled again as he got a pan out. He was hungry, so he would make eggs and bacon. If anyone else wanted some, well then tough shit. They could make their own food. They were all adults, not children. They may have been lazy, but their legs weren't broken.

2D got eggs and a pack of bacon out of the fridge, then turned the stove on, greasing the pan once it had become hot enough. He put two pieces of bacon in and they immediately sizzled, popping and getting the burning grease onto 2D's hand. "Fucking shit!" he exclaimed, waving his hand around to help ease the pain. "God damnit," he hissed, cradling his hand.

Once the shock of his slightly injured hand had subsided, the cooking was resumed and soon, 2D carried a plate with his breakfast—or lunch. Brunch?—into the living room, along with a fork. He noticed them all staring and frowned. "Go make your own," he said, still angry that he'd been burned. He took a bite of his toast and sat quietly, thinking about everything, including his health.

He was fine. He was sure that it was just a cold or something. But the blood... why would he throw up and there be blood? He'd seen somewhere that internal bleeding could be the cause of it, but the site had to have been wrong. The site had also said that 'death could be on its way'. That  _had_ to’ve been wrong. He couldn't die, and he wouldn't…  _would_ he?

No, he was acting paranoid. He wasn’t going to die. Gorillaz had to stay together. They had to make another album. It'd been almost a decade since The Fall was released. They'd released a Singles Collection and a song, but that was back in 2012 - almost 4  _years_ ago. People had to last almost a  _decade_ without a new album.

They'd all been busy writing new music for it—2D contributing two of the songs. He had no idea what to call them, or how either of them were to sound, but he had lyrics and the mindset that one would lead into the other. None of the other three band members knew what either of the songs sounded like, but it was partially Murdoc's idea to have 2D contribute because of the album he had written. He let him have two songs, and nothing more.

2D was smart. He wrote one of the songs—along with  _Amarillo_ — about someone he liked, but was too anxious to admit it. 

Murdoc _fucking_ Niccals.

2D had a small crush on Murdoc, but he'd never tell anyone and was surprisingly good at hiding it. He could just say it was for no reason, just like always when he wrote love songs. He'd been able to write one other song to make it onto a Gorillaz album, and that was  _Stop The Dams_ . They'd never performed it live, and nobody knew why. 2D had always thought that it was because it wasn't on an official album, but they'd performed  _Doncamatic_ live, and  _Hong Kong_ as well. It was weird.

Murdoc and 2D were thing after they'd first officially met (and after the situation with Paula Cracker), but they ended it after about a month because Murdoc didn't want anyone to know he was with a 'freak'. Sure, 2D was talented, but that's all Murdoc cared for anymore after they ended it, and it broke 2D, more than he already had been. Murdoc could never know 2D wrote anything about him—he'd be a dead man. He already  _felt_ dead, he didn't want to actually _be_ dead.

2D finished his food quietly, then took his plate and fork to the kitchen. He was glad they'd finally invested in a dishwasher, or else nothing would have been clean. 2D liked to sing as he cleaned, much like Cinderella, but the difference was that he sang their own songs. "Oh, joys are us the sun has come again, to hold you. Sailing out the doldrums, of the week . "

He liked to sing songs from  _Plastic Beach_ , mainly the calm ones. They helped calm him, which was the best thing about the entire album in 2D's opinion.

"The polyphonic prayer is here, it's all around you. It's all around you, out here. And if the whole world is crashing down. Fall through space, out of mind with me. Where the emptiness we leave behind, on warm air rising, blows all the shadows, far away. The fallin' of the whole empire is here to hold you, rollin' out and haunted, 'till it sinks," 2D sang as he loaded the dishwasher, putting the soap in and pushing the button to start it.

Then, he began to sing  Broken , causing Murdoc to stop whatever he'd been doing and listen intently. "Distant stars, come in black or red. I've seen their worlds, inside my head . " 2D skipped a few lines, and went straight for the chorus. "And the space has been broken. It's broken, our love, broken. It's broken, our love, broken . "

2D walked back into the living room, and Murdoc glared at him. "Why  _that_ song?" he asked, attempting to bury his own body more into the sofa. It was practically freezing outside, as it was late-November. "Because I like it. I find it…  _intriguing_ . I want to know who it's about, but I'll never get that answer any time soon, so I guess I'll just have to  _sing_ it instead," 2D said and sat on the sofa, grabbing a throw blanket that was Noodle's off the arm of it. Noodle didn't argue, she just sat on the loveseat with Russel, who gave her half of his blanket.

Murdoc didn't move; instead, he turned his head to look at 2D, who had wrapped the large blanket around his body until just his head was showing. He'd crossed his long legs and had them up on the sofa as well. He saw Murdoc staring at him and raised his brow. "Quit staring, it’s creepy," he said, shrinking into the sofa and staring into space.

Murdoc huffed and turned his head away from the singer. Now, both he and the bluenette were in the exact same position, causing Noodle to giggle softly. "They look so cute. I still ship it," she whispered to Russel, who laughed. "Even after all this time, I still want them together."

If only she knew what had happened all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made murdoc out to be a dick for some reason. also tmw u actively dislike this fic


	3. [three]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2D and Murdoc watch a movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alt. summary: blue boy and syringe man watch a made up movie

By the time anyone had moved, it was almost 5pm and the sun was beginning to set. Nobody wanted to move, but  _somebody_ had to—it didn't matter who, and this person was 2D. He had to use the toilet. 

During the six or so hours they'd been fixed to their spots, Murdoc had moved closer to 2D for warmth. Of course, since they were sort of best friends, neither of them minded. Although it took about two years for them to get like this, soon enough they were back to their old selves: Murdoc being less-pissed off at 2D (mostly because they were both getting older) and the two of them hanging out more. Hanging out meant having a drink and/or smoke every night whilst talking.

Murdoc frowned when 2D got up, missing the warmth of his best friend. He'd been about ready to fall asleep, but 2D just  _had_ to get up. Soon enough, 2D returned and got back on the sofa, he and Murdoc returning to their original positions: their bodies pressed together and them almost lying down. To any regular person, they looked like a couple, and 2D liked that idea.

"Hey, Muds?" 2D asked quietly, as Noodle and Russel were asleep. "What? Make it quick, Stu, I'm tired," Murdoc said, yawning. "I’ve never thanked you. For, y'know, something. I’m crazy for saying this, but thank you for giving me eight-ball fractures. I wouldn't be famous if it wasn't for you. A-And I’m sorry for saying that the band wouldn’t be  _the band_ if it weren’t for me. I never meant it, I swear to Satan," 2D said, hugging Murdoc awkwardly as he was laying on 2D. "Don't swear to Satan. That's bad, Stu. Now, sleep," Murdoc ordered and 2D nodded, closing his eyes. 

He heard Murdoc yawn again, loudly, and smiled. He liked it—being able to do this  _without_ either of them arguing was possibly 2D's favorite thing; it was better than music. If only it could happen more often. Since Plastic Beach, 2D had completely lost trust in Murdoc; for the first couple years that they'd been sort of  _reunited_ , he would flinch whenever Murdoc would raise his hands, or he would completely  _remove_ himself from the room. And if by any chance Murdoc got near him, he would start crying. Now, three years later, he was comfortable around Murdoc. There were few times he got hit, and that was a good thing.

2D finally fell asleep, uncomfortable because of the shorter man practically  _glued_ to his side asleep, but he was happy. 

* * *

It was warmer in the house when 2D woke up—he could _feel_ it. There was no extra body near him, and instead of Noodle's throw blanket, he was covered with a much thinner blanket. He opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them and yawning. "Oh look, you're _alive_ ," Murdoc said from the armchair. 

2D could smell pancakes. He only knew they were pancakes from the scent of syrup and butter, as well as that scent pancakes have. He could also smell bacon, as well as toast and chocolate.  _Who cooked breakfast?_ , he asked himself, but his thoughts were answered when Murdoc left and brought back a plate. It had three chocolate chip pancakes with butter and syrup, a few pieces of bacon and a piece of toast with butter.

"Eat up, we're goin' out," Murdoc said and 2D picked up a piece of bacon, putting it in his mouth. It was surprisingly good. "Where're we going?" 2D asked, eating more bacon. "I already said this:  _out_ ." Murdoc sounded annoyed by 2D's ignorance—but who could blame him?

2D finished eating and Murdoc took the plate and fork from him. "Go get dressed. We have  _stuff_ to do," Murdoc said and 2D walked up to his room. His room was messy: clothes everywhere, rubbish from previous late-night snackage and plastic water bottles. So many plastic water bottles and other garbage that a mini version of Plastic Beach could be built in the corner of the room if it were clean. 2D decided that he'd have to clean up soon. 

He dug through a pile of clean clothes, tossing the unwanted pieces onto his bed until he found his  _Swell Maps_ shirt and a pair of jeans, along with a pair of the exclusive  _Gorillaz_ Converse. He went into the tiny bathroom connected to his room and combed his hair, then brushed his teeth.

2D walked back downstairs, completely dressed. He heard whistling, so he followed the sound into the kitchen where Murdoc was stood, a glass of water in his hand. He was tossing keys up into the air with the other. "M'ready," he said, making Murdoc spit out the sip of water he'd had in his mouth. "Don't sneak  up on me like  _that_ , 'D. It's not polite." Ha, how could  _Murdoc_ talk about being  _polite_ ? The word polite could never even be in the same  _sentence_ as Murdoc's  name. 2D would believe he'd ever be even  _remotely_ polite when pigs flew. 

"I’m sorry, Muds. I didn't mean to," 2D said, interlocking his hands behind his back. "Don't worry 'bout it," Murdoc replied, putting his glass of water in the sink and motioning for 2D to follow him. He was wearing a grey turtleneck with his inverted cross necklace hanging around his neck and a pair of jeans with his Cuban-heeled boots. 

Murdoc handed 2D a coat. "Put this on. It's freezin' out," he said and 2D nodded. "Yeah, al-alright," he said and put it on, sliding the sleeves over his hands and onto his thin arms. 

He wasn't usually this nervous around Murdoc; he had no idea why he'd all of a sudden begun to feel nervous. It wasn't like he showed feelings like this unless they were serious. Maybe... this  _was_ serious. Maybe 2D actually  _did_ like Murdoc as more than a friend and it wasn't  _just_ some stupid crush. There was such a thing as Stockholm Syndrome, so maybe  _that_ might've been the cause of his feelings.

The bassist and singer walked out into the cold weather, 2D humming a random tune and Murdoc walking in silence. "You're not cold?" 2D questioned and Murdoc shook his head. "Nah. M'not usually cold," he said, continuing to walk. "Aye, Dents? Sing somethin' for me?"

2D stopped, making Murdoc stop as well. "Whadya want me to sing?" he asked. "Hmm... how  _about_ On Melancholy Hill?" Murdoc said and 2D nodded; they continued to walk as 2D hummed the beginning. " _Up on melancholy hill, there's a plastic tree. Are you here with me? Just looking out on the day, of another dream_ ," he finished, and Murdoc sighed, almost happily. "M'glad I made you the singer for Gorillaz. You have the  _perfect_ voice for that song, and every other song. Mmh, it's heavenly."

2D stared at Murdoc, who was sort of smiling. Murdoc  _rarely_ looked happy unless they were recording (and when he'd first seen the 2D everyone knew and loved), so for him to be happy whilst speaking positively about an aspect of 2D, well... it made him happy. 

They walked up to a cinema, and 2D looked at Murdoc like he was insane and  _desperately_ needed assistance. "What are we doing here?" he asked, looking around to check for any form of a prank that could be pulled on him. He only saw people walking into the cinema and others walking past, talking and laughing. "I saw that a new zombie film would be playin' tonight, so I thought we could watch it together. Noods and Russ are gone until tomorrow night. They're doin' some sort of 'father-figure/daughter bondin',  _whatever-the-fuck-that-is_ ," Murdoc said, mumbling the last part. 

They walked into the cinema, payed for two tickets and snacks at the till, then walked into the theatre where they sat at the back. "You  do  like zombie movies, don't you?" Murdoc asked, requiring confirmation, and 2D nodded. "Yeah, I like zombie movies. Though, living in Kong Studios made me traumatised for weeks," he said, taking a few pieces of popcorn and chewing happily. "How are you eating that? You have no front teeth?"

"Well Muds, I've had two less top front teeth for years. I've learned to eat food on the  _sides_ of my mouth," 2D explained as Murdoc grabbed a handful of popcorn, and he took a drink of his slushie, which he'd gotten while Murdoc got water. "You're insane, Stu," Murdoc had said, giving him a look that said,  ' _You need a mental hospita_ l '.

Soon, the movie started, the title  _The Dead Rise Again_ dripping down the screen in blood. 2D shook excitedly; the title screen was always his  _favourite_ part of any zombie movie. Murdoc gasped. This  _actually_ looked like it'd be a decent movie. 

2D let his gaze trail over to Murdoc. The bassist's hands were folded in his lap, the right over the left. He was laid back and his eyes were glued to the screen. He watched the way Murdoc absentmindedly put his left hand in the large popcorn bucket to get some of the popcorn, then put the entire handful into his mouth and chewed quietly, much to 2D's surprise. 

2D's eyes fell back onto the screen, where a zombie was just getting shot in the head. Little did he know, Murdoc was aware of the fact that he'd been subtly looking at him the whole time. He would've said something, but decided to see if he'd do anything else. 

About halfway through the movie, 2D had to use the toilet, which meant moving past Murdoc to get to the exit. "Hey, uh... Muds? Can you move your legs? I've gotta use the toilets," he said quietly and Murdoc did so, allowing 2D to slide through and out the door. 

Once in the bathroom, he walked into one of the stalls, too uncomfortable to use the urinals despite being alone. He did what he had to do, flushed, and walked out of the stall. It was quiet—so quiet that you could hear a pin drop; you wouldn't know that there were movies playing in different theatres.  _Fifty Shades Of Grey_ was playing in one theatre, and you could faintly hear the sounds that belonged to it. When 2D had heard about it, he promised himself that he'd  _never_ go see it, or even  _watch_ it. Murdoc,  _however_ , said he was going to buy it and constantly watch it when it came out on DVD.

In fact, 2D was surprised Murdoc hadn't bought himself a ticket to Fifty Shades Of Grey and 2D a ticket to the zombie movie. It was rather strange behaviour, and that was saying something; Murdoc was a strange man. In fact, according to everyone the green bassist came in contact with, Murdoc was downright _creepy_. He always wore his inverted cross necklace and had a smug look on his face, a look that said ' _I will fucking kill you if you come near me_ _without my consent_ ’. 

But with 2D, that look was never there anymore. Murdoc was calm and  _happy_ around 2D. Well, almost happy. There was a slight hint of guilt in his happiness.

Soon, the movie was over, and the two exited the theatre. It was nine thirty at night and they walked in silence. It was an uncomfortable silence until 2D spoke up once realizing they weren't heading back home. "Where we goin’?" he asked softly, and Murdoc smirked. "Somewhere  _fun_ . Trust me, you'll like it," he said and they walked more, soon arriving at an open field. Even in the darkness, 2D could tell that it was a wide open space with purple flowers.

He followed Murdoc into it and watched as he lied down, spreading his arms and legs out. "Sit down," Murdoc half-ordered, half-politely asked, and 2D sat. "Why're we here?" he asked.

"For fun."

"Oh, okay," 2D said, lying down in the grass. "It's winter. Why are we in a field? These things are usually meant to be specifically for  _warmer_ days."

"I dunno, 2D. It's  _calming_ ."

Once he got past the fact that the grass was freezing, 2D realized that Murdoc was right: he  _did_ like this. It was just as calming as Murdoc had said it'd be. 

Murdoc was silent, enjoying the peacefulness of it all. "What are you thinking about?" 2D asked, genuinely curious. "Nothin' and everything at the same time. Thinking keeps me  _sane_ , if that makes any sense," Murdoc said, closing his eyes. This was the height of his existence. This was the highest point of serenity. To Murdoc,  _this_ was happiness.

2D decided to lie down at an angle to Murdoc's position and breathed in the nighttime air. He checked his watch—it was only ten fifteen pm. He wondered how long they'd be there. He looked up at the sky. It was clear albeit a few wisps of clouds and stars. Any photographer would  _love_ this. He began to sing a soft tune from no particular song, causing Murdoc to turn his head in 2D's direction. "You're singin'," he said and 2D let out a small laugh. "Mhm," he said and continue to sing. 

This was  another thing Murdoc enjoyed, though he'd never admit how  _much_ he enjoyed it.

2D and Murdoc stayed there for what seemed like hours, in silence, just enjoying each other's company. It was nice, just being alone together. "Hey Muds? Do you ever think about life? I mean, _actually_ think about it? Like, death and stuff?" 2D asked. "Not really. Well, maybe _sometimes_ , but not too often. I don't like to think about what's goin' on in my life, unless it's important," Murdoc said, sitting up. "We should be gettin' home. It's gettin' late, which means that it'll start gettin' colder."

They walked back to the house on Wobble Street, and it only took half an hour. Immediately after walking inside, 2D ran to the bathroom to take a shower. The running, though, caused him to become short of breath, and he began wheezing, suddenly unable to breathe properly. He stripped and turned the shower on, hoping that the hissing of the water would hide his uneven breathing. Luckily it did, and the singer took a shower without a concerned green bassist barging in without permission.

He coughed three times, each time making his chest burn, and it hurt like hell. He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, covering himself before looking in the mirror. His azure hair was a shade darker and water was dripping down his back from the wet blue strands. 

2D squinted and opened his mouth, admiring the fact that he had less top front teeth than normal people. It was a characteristic that made him 2D. That, along his blue hair and eightball fractures. His vision wasn't that great, but they made both men and women swoon. He wished that they made a certain green Satanist swoon, but that was  _highly_ unlikely. 

2D walked out of the bathroom, towel still around his waist, and walked into the main part of his room, bringing his dirty clothes with him. He found a tshirt, sweatpants and pants, and put them all on before towel drying his hair. It never looked right if he let it air dry - it always stuck together and he hated it; it always took an hour or so and a comb to fix it.

He combed through his hair to give it its signature look and walked downstairs to the living room, where Murdoc was sitting. He looked up and once he noticed 2D, patted a spot on the sofa next to him. 2D sat down and slouched, slightly exhausted, but not tired enough to fall asleep right away. "So, whadya wanna do?" 2D asked, and Murdoc shrugged. "S'up to you. I don't really care," he said, and 2D got an idea. 

"I'll be back," he said and walked upstairs, returning shortly after with his iPad. Murdoc raised his eyebrow when he saw this, but said nothing. "I, er, saw a series of videos on YouTube. About us; you and me. They're like people drawin' us together, as in  _together_ together. They even have a name for us. They call it shipping, and I guess it’s when you put two people you want together in a relationship," 2D said, opening the YouTube app. "Put one on, then," Murdoc said, sounding almost  _impatient_ .

2D typed in '2doc speedpaint' and tapped on the first one. " _Oh_ , it's Stop The Dams- wait, what the hell is an 'OTP'?"

"I'll look it up after this video's over."

"Okay."

"I like the position they drew us in."

"They made my hair look  _cooler_ than it  _actually_ is."

"Am I really  _that_ green?"

"Yes. Yes, you are."

2D hummed along with the song, smiling. He enjoyed singing it whenever he could, because he could picture Gorillaz playing it live. The crowd would be calm, swaying as if it were the most important song to ever exist. He would stay seated during the performance, sometimes shutting his eyes to let it all dissolve. Murdoc would be standing still, his bass behind his back, smiling at the crowd and at his singer, appreciating all that they'd been through together as a band.

He began to cry tears of happiness, smiling at the image. "Why're you cryin'?" Murdoc asked and 2D looked at him. "I'm imagining playing this live. It's so  _vivid_ in my head—what the crowd is doing, what  _I'm_ doing, what the rest of the band is doing... it feels so  _real_ ," 2D said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "We'll eventually play it. I don't know when, but we will. I promise."

Murdoc's words reassured 2D, enough for him to watch the rest of the video, then look up what an OTP was. "One true pairing. An OTP is a ship that people want to happen, and feel that the particular ship is the only one that should happen," 2D read out.

"Okay then. Hey, Stu? I'm gettin' tired, so I'm gonna go get some sleep. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, Muds."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was a tiny bit of foreshadowing towards the end.
> 
> ALSO, the speedpaint they watched is a real thing. it’s called ‘Gorillaz — 2Doc Speedpaint’ and the channel it’s on is ‘Adrian Shea’.
> 
> this is the video that initially introduced me to stop the dams, and it’s now my favorite gorillaz song. so yeah.


	4. [four]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confession, and the beginning of tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hbd to humanz, and happy late 3 years to me listening to gorillaz. i love this band with my entire heart.

Upon waking up, there were tears in 2D's eyes. Immediately, he got up and ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Yep, he was crying, but for what  _ reason _ though? That was a question he couldn't answer, but rather let himself guess all day until he knew the  _ exact _ reason why. 

He went back into the main part of his bedroom and looked at the time. It was currently almost noon and he realized that he'd slept in the same clothes from yesterday. He yawned, causing more tears to fall, but at a rapid pace. 2D wiped the tears away and wiped them on his shirt. 

He walked downstairs, humming, and was surprised to see Murdoc fully awake with a mug of coffee in his hands. He got a bowl out of the cupboard, avoiding Murdoc's gaze, and got some cereal.

Murdoc said nothing, instead continuing to drink his coffee and watch the singer pour cereal, then pour milk. "Sleep well?"

"I slept fine."

"Oh, okay."

2D took his cereal into the living room, yawned, and began to eat. He felt content just sitting there, eating his frosted wheat cereal and humming. His brain forced him to hum Some Kind Of Nature softly, so that's what he did as he finished eating and drinking the milk. He took his bowl and spoon into the kitchen and rinsed it out before putting it them in the dishwasher.

Murdoc said nothing, just stared at him. "Hey Muds," 2D said and Murdoc shifted his gaze to where he was looking at the stairs, acting like he  _ desperately _ wanted to be away from the singer, purposefully ignoring him. "Nice chat," Stuart said, whistling and walking into the bathroom, but he coughed, gasping for air. He was choking. 

Suddenly, he felt a cramp in his stomach and lurched forward, emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He was angry, due to the fact that he'd just eaten, and  _ now _ his food was in the toilet. He threw up again, but this time it was clear. 2D locked the door, closing the toilet lid and sitting down. He put his head in his hands, attempting to calm the ache, but it didn't help.

This was confusing.  _ Life _ was confusing. Stuart didn't understand why these things happened to him—why  _ anything _ happened to him. He was a good person. He never meant any harm to anybody. All he wanted to do was be happy and nice to people.

Maybe this all began with Murdoc, when the bassist hit him with a car and put him in that coma. If he'd never met Murdoc, he'd be perfectly fine. But, at the same time, he'd’ve never met Russel or Noodle. They were his friends, but Murdoc was his  _ best _ friend. Though, best friends don't ignore each other, or abuse each other. A best friend is not supposed to kidnap you and hold you hostage on a beach just to record a damn  _ album _ . A best friend is supposed to care, not  _ abuse _ the other friend.

Maybe they weren't even best friends anymore. Maybe they'd grown apart in that aspect of their friendship.

There was a knock on the door. "You alright?" Murdoc asked from the other side of the door. "Yeah, m'fine Muds," 2D said, standing up and walking over to the sink. He turned the cold water on and splashed his face, then took some in his hands and put it in his mouth. He swished it around and spit it out, then did the same with some mouthwash. He didn't want anyone knowing he was sick, or rather,  _ still _ sick. He'd been almost violently ill for the past week, and it hadn't passed, but he didn't want to go to the hospital in case it wasn't  _ too _ serious. 

Sure, he'd coughed up blood twice in the past week he'd been sick like this, but that could have been anything. "2D, can you unlock the door? I need to talk to you." Murdoc sounded tired, and 2D wondered if he'd even slept. "Yeah, sure. Hold on," 2D said and cleaned up, flushing the toilet and unlocking the door. 

"Follow me," Murdoc said, walking into the living room and sitting down, patting the spot next to him on the loveseat. 2D sat down and crossed his hands on his lap. "I'm sorry, for  _ everything _ ," Murdoc apologised and 2D was silent. What did Murdoc mean? He was  _ apologising _ ? That made no sense, and 2D wasn't sure he believed Murdoc.

"You probably don't believe me, but I truly  _ am _ sorry. I'm sorry about Paula. I'm sorry about what happened with us. I'm sorry about Plastic Beach. I'm sorry about everything," Murdoc said, leaving 2D confused. He didn't know what to think. A part of 2D didn't want to forgive Murdoc, but deep down, 2D wanted to instantly accept the apology and go back to the way they were when they'd first met; before Gorillaz gained it's popularity. They were happy, and Murdoc was just an angry bassist with pent-up emotions. But somewhere in 2D's brain, he knew it'd never be that way again. Gorillaz were  _ too _ popular for that. And even though Murdoc cared for Stuart, it was mostly because of the band. 

Murdoc loved Gorillaz; it was the only project of his that took off and became liked  _ worldwide _ . He only kept 2D safe, alive and in the band for the sole purpose of making  _ music _ . 

But, Murdoc had apologised. He apologised to 2D. What was he gonna do, now that he'd apologised? Kick him out of the band? 2D was both frightened, yet relieved. He'd get to be free, but he wondered how Russel and Noodle would react. Would they be upset with Murdoc? Would they not care? So many things raced through his mind.

"Why're you apologizing  _ now _ ? Are you going to kick me out of the band? You've found a better,  _ smarter _ singer, haven't you?" he said, beginning to hyperventilate. "Wha- no! Stu, you're the only singer I have. The only one I  _ want _ in my band. You may not be the smartest person in London, but I'd rather have you as a singer than someone who knows advanced things, like how many numbers can go into five thousand. Besides, you ain't even that dumb if you're smart enough to try and obtain a law degree."

Well, he  _ did _ have a point. "I'm apologising because I want us to start over. To how we were, before everything that happened in the 'El Manana' incident," Murdoc said, and he could physically see 2D attempt to block out everything involving the floating windmill island and El Manana and Noodle and how she'd been presumed dead for years. "Can you not bring that up?" he asked, pain evident in his eyes. Despite the fact that they were filled with blood, you could still see a bit of his actual eyes if you looked hard enough. There was a glimpse of red-tinted blue and when he was sad, his pupils got smaller and his irises stood out. Though, if you weren't looking, you wouldn't be able to notice this. 

Murdoc was close enough to see, so he frowned, and he  _ too _ remembered the incident. Noodle was just sitting peacefully on the island when the pirates  _ he'd _ hired shot it down. The memory was enough to make him cry and wonder why in the  _ hell _ he'd done it. "I'm sorry. It was my fault, and I never apologised to Noodle for it. I never apologised to  _ you _ for it," he said and 2D shushed him. "It’s done and over with. No need to apologise for it now," he said and Murdoc nodded. 

"Also, what do you mean by 'wanting to start over, to how we were'?" 2D asked. "Before the band got popular and after the whole  _ you-know-who _ situation," Murdoc explained, and suddenly 2D couldn't breathe. He knew what Murdoc was speaking of, yet he didn't know if he was joking or not. "You aren't a freak, Stu. I was wrong."

2D wasn't listening. He was too busy reliving everything. The closeness. The feelings. Then, the moment homophobia became a part of his life. No. No matter how much he wanted to, he  _ couldn't _ . "I-I'm sorry. I can’t. It's not you, it's just– I can't bear to relive it all." 2D moved away from Murdoc and attempted to shield himself.

When it first happened, he and Murdoc were at a bar, sitting close enough where it pissed off a large guy who was holding a beer bottle and was probably completely wasted. "F-Fucking faggots!" he'd slurred, and with 2D being so young at the time, it hit him hard. He'd never been called that, mainly because he wasn't open about it. Sure, he'd dated, but it was both genders - mostly women, though. 

When he'd started dating Paula Cracker, he felt like he'd  _ finally _ be able to get rid of the homophobia—but then Murdoc happened. 2D brushed it off when he and Murdoc started dating, but then homophobia became a part of his life. 

2D had run out of the bar, crying, Murdoc not far behind him. He tripped, but didn't fall on his face as he'd caught himself, and cut his hands on stones in the process. "Ow, why the hell?"

Murdoc caught up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "You alright, love?" he asked and 2D shook his head. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you anymore. There's too much hate. M'sorry, Muds." Murdoc nodded and they walked back to Kong Studios, a metre of distance between them. 

Murdoc eventually broke up with 2D, giving the excuse that he was a freak. Murdoc only began to sleep with so many women because of 2D, and how he still had feelings for the blue-haired singer. Truthfully, he  _ never _ got over 2D, so he wrote an album for him. Broken was about their relationship and how it'd been broken for  _ years _ .

"2D, look at me. I  _ love _ you? I always  _ have _ . You're the only true source of happiness in my life, and you always have been. I was mentally insane on Plastic Beach. I needed Gorillaz to stay alive, and I would have done  _ anything _ to keep it alive. So I kidnapped you and forced you to sing. I was such a fucking  _ idiot _ for making you feel like you did. I can't forgive myself, and I hope you never forgive me, because I sure as  _ hell _ don't  _ deserve _ forgiveness."

2D let tears fall, unsure of what to say. "Muds, I would  _ gladly _ forgive you if you gave me a reason to, but you haven’t so I have no reason to forgive you. We can’t go back to the way it was. It may be almost 2016, but I’m still scared. Homophobia is still a thing. People are mean. I have feelings. I get hurt easily. I would say yes, but I’m scared of what people will think. What if people stop listening to Gorillaz because of it? I realise that people would  _ love _ us together, but people also believe that it'd be an abusive relationship. I can’t imagine a world where '2D and Murdoc in a relationship' is a thing."

It was silent after that, the only sound being their breathing. "Please, just  _ attempt _ it? Who cares what other people think? It doesn't  _ matter _ . I love you. That's  _ all _ that should matter. I might  _ actually _ be in love with you. Back on Plastic Beach, I went crazy with writing songs. With my feelings for you, those got mixed in with writing and in turn, I wrote songs about  _ you _ ."

"To Binge? That was about our relationship and how I drank too much when thinking about you. It's called  _ binge-drinking _ , I believe. Broken was about how we had a broken love. There are others. Should I continue, or will you explain Amarillo? I prefer  _ your _ explanation," Murdoc said and 2D gasped. 

The answer he'd been looking for: the explanation for Broken. He was also surprised at how Murdoc had figured out that Amarillo wasn't just a random song that had been written for no reason. " _ You _ . It was  _ you _ . I wrote it about  _ you _ ," he said simply and it happened all at once. Murdoc leaned in and captured 2D's lips in his own. 

2D was frozen, but  _ eventually _ let his mind take over. His eyes were shut and his mouth moved with Murdoc's. He'd missed everything about this: the electricity he felt, the happy nervousness in his stomach, the swiftness of his heartbeat, the way his entire body buzzed with content. He felt warm. This was happiness, true happiness.

They pulled apart, but their breathing continued to stay the same – quick and heavy. This made 2D gasp in an attempt to keep his coughing hidden, but he failed and began wheezing. "O-Okay, I'll try it again, b-b-but I can't b-breathe," he said, his breathing becoming shallow.

Murdoc's eyes widened at 2D's appearance: the singer was quickly becoming more pale and his eyes were turning white. This wasn't excitement or nervousness; no, this was _fear_. " _ Stuart _ ? What, no!" Murdoc yelled and at that moment, strangely with perfect timing, the door opened and in walked Russel and Noodle. 

The sight was alarming: 2D was collapsed on the loveseat clutching his stomach and Murdoc had an extremely worried look on his face. He looked away for a moment, only to discover that the two had returned. He began crying, unsure of what he was supposed to do. "You have to help. You have to help him. I... I love him. I've loved him forever. Please," Murdoc begged as 2D blacked out, causing Murdoc to cry out.


	5. [five]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do they cope with something so unexpected?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is v sad whoops

December. It's late December—exactly one month since Stuart Pot, lead singer of Gorillaz ,  had been rushed to the hospital and found out  _exactly_ how sick he was.

Cancer, mixed with a slightly collapsed lung. 2D was sick, and there was no telling how long he had left. "Six and a half months, at the most," the doctor had said. That meant he wouldn't last past August of 2016. He would turn 38 years old and a few months later—that'd be it. Gone.

Murdoc couldn't believe it; he didn't  _want_ to believe it. He didn't want to believe that his singer, the one he'd been in love with for  _years_ , was going to die.

"You can't die. I won't let you. There... there has to be another way. Chemotherapy? Lung tran- do they even  _do_ lung transplants? Surgery?  _Something_ ?  _Anything_ ?" Murdoc tried to reason with an exhausted 2D, who was lying on the sofa under a thick blanket. "Muds, there's this thing called agony. People who undergo chemotherapy experience a feeling of sheer agony. They lose their hair and have to have liquid put into their body, hopin' that it'll help. I want to stay away from that feeling. Surgery has a fifty percent chance of working," he said, yawning.

"This has been happening since you  got here. You've been like this for  _three_ years. Why did you never get it checked out?" Murdoc asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa. "I dunno. I guess I was just…  _procrastinating_ it. And I didn't want anyone to worry. I figured that I was just  _normal_ -sick, not  _dying_ -sick."

Murdoc gasped. "You should've said something, love. You could  _survive_ . We could've had a future  _together_ . Now,  _I'll_ have a future, you just won't be a part of it," he said and left the room. A door being forced shut could be heard, then the sound of a bass being played.

Stuart stood up, exhaled, and walked up to Murdoc's room. He knocked on the door, sighing. "Muds, can I come in? I wanna talk to you," he said and the playing stopped. "Y-Yeah. It's unlocked."

2D opened the door and was surprised to see light. Murdoc was on his bed,  _El Diáblo_ next to him. Murdoc patted the spot on the bed next to him and 2D sat, laying his head on his shoulder. Murdoc's chest rose and fell as his body shook, indicating that he was crying. "Murdoc,  _please_ stop crying. I know you're upset, but I'll start crying if you keep crying."

Murdoc sniffed and put his arm around 2D almost protectively. "M'sorry—it's just that I can't imagine a world without you. You're my bluebird. My lovely, blue-haired, songbird. It's going to be pure  _hell_ not seeing your face every day or hearing your voice, whether you're singing or just speaking. I'm going to miss your blue hair and those dents in your face. I'm going to miss how tall you are compared to me. Yeah, sure, I can listen to old songs and interviews, but it won't be the same. It won't  _ever be the same_ ," Murdoc said, more tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Here, how about this: I make a video—with your help, of course—and you could watch it whenever you're feeling sad. Okay?" 2D suggested and Murdoc nodded, kissing the top of his head. "I love you, you know that? I love you so,  so much and nobody can tell me otherwise." 2D nodded, smiling.

The two stayed like that, only moving to get something to eat or use the bathroom, but they always returned to that position immediately after. It made them forget about the inevitable death that was to capture Stuart.

Pretty soon, he would no longer be able to speak or sing. 2D would get weaker and weaker until he could no longer survive without constant medical attention. Sadness and grief would be all anyone felt after his death.

Murdoc shook his head, trying to rid his brain of the thought. No, 2D wouldn't want him to be sad.

What about funeral preparations? Would they occur before or after? Who would come? How would it happen?  Where  would it happen? Would there be a viewing? If so, what music would play over pictures of him?

Then, an idea popped into Murdoc's head: Stop The Dams. 2D practically  _adored_ that song, yet said nothing. He was asleep, so Murdoc couldn't say anything about it yet. Again, he had an idea. It was probably dumb, and he had no idea if they could get anyone to let Gorillaz play a show. It'd be a small show, maybe five to six of their songs, but whatever 2D chose. Stop The Dams would— _of course_ —be on the setlist.

He'd have to speak with Russel and Noodle about it,  _without_ 2D's knowledge, but he couldn't ignore the singer. He'd think something was wrong.

Murdoc feel asleep, the whole idea of one last show on his mind. Gorillaz wouldn't continue afterwards, sadly.

* * *

2D was still asleep when Murdoc got up, whimpering because the bassist was no longer next to him. Murdoc quickly and quietly walked down to the living room, where Russel and Noodle were. They both looked as if they hadn't slept in days. Murdoc, having slept a total of thirty-six hours since he found out, looked positively worse. He had noticeable bags under his eyes and he looked pale; a pale green.

"I've got an idea," he said, grabbing their attention. "What is your ever-so- _fantastic_ idea?" Noodle asked, sipping her tea. "One last live show!" he said excitedly, sounding a bit insane. "Whadya mean, 'one last show'?" Russel asked, confused. "Gorillaz can't continue without Stu, so it won't.  _But_ –  we can do one last live show, five or six songs of his choice, then announce there that we'll no longer be making music—say that I've gotten old." Murdoc was smiling like this was his best idea yet; in his mind, it  _was_ . "Muds, you  _are_ getting old. You're almost  _fifty_ ," Noodle pointed out, "but that's actually a good idea. 2D must be so excited." Murdoc scratched the back of his neck, laughing. "I, uh… I haven't told him yet. I want it to be a  _surprise_ , but not too much of a surprise that he  _dies_ ." He looked like he was about to black out at the thought, so he was forced to sit down.

But he couldn't sit down, what if Stu  _needed_ him? He stood up and proceeded to return to the place he and 2D had been for two days. The singer was still asleep, clutching the covers like his life depended on it. His breathing was shaky and he always looked as if he was fighting to breathe.

He opened his eyes and let out a shaky breath. " _Murdoc_ ?" he questioned, confused as to why the bassist wasn't in bed with him. "Where'd you go?" 2D asked, sitting up. "I went down to speak with Noodle and Russel about something. That's it," Murdoc said, sitting on the bed. He couldn't call it  _his_ bed, because it wasn't really just  _his_ bed anymore, since it was shared. Just as 2D's bed he had to himself was now shared as well, but only when necessary.

Murdoc lied down, pulling 2D closer to him. He covered the taller man with the dark blue duvet and kissed the top of his head. "I love you, Muds."

"I love you too, Bluebird," Murdoc said and fell asleep. 2D liked this—he wanted Murdoc to get enough sleep, not stay awake worrying about him. He also fell asleep, feeling oddly calmed by the sound of Murdoc's breathing.

* * *

It was late when 2D and Murdoc woke up, so they decided to get something to eat. Well,  _Murdoc_ decided to get something to eat; 2D was too tired and exhausted to move. "You ain't coming?" Murdoc asked and 2D yawned. "Too exhausted to move," he said absentmindedly and Murdoc smirked. "Muds, what are y-  _ah_ !" 2D yelped as he was lifted off the bed bridal-style. "You've gotta eat something, ' _D_ . You're losing weight fast."

2D frowned. "I’m dy-"

"Please don't," Murdoc begged, carrying the singer down to the kitchen. He hated hearing the word 'death', or  _any_ word related to it. It hurt him more than he spoke of. 2D had almost died on Plastic Beach because of a suicide attempt, and that hurt worse than the singer dying because of a disease.

If 2D had been successful in his attempt on his own life, Murdoc wouldn't have known  what to do. He'd been in love with the dullard since they'd met. It would have crushed Murdoc, and eventually made him take his  _own_ life. He never told anyone about 2D's attempt, and he never  _planned_ to. It was the singer's business whether or not it was spoken of.

Murdoc sat 2D down on the sofa and sighed. "What do you want?" he asked and the bluenette shrugged. "Something light, but that'll make me full enough," he said and Murdoc nodded, going into the kitchen.

_What's enough for him to eat, but won't make him sick?_ Murdoc thought to himself, searching the refrigerator and cabinets. Cereal would probably make him sick. Soup? "What about soup?" he asked. "Yeah, that's fine," 2D called back and Murdoc got a can of chicken, some chicken broth and noodles from the cupboards.

2D walked into the kitchen, careful not to startle the bassist, who was working on making soup. He watched as noodles were poured into a pan and water was poured in after them. "What kinda soup're you making?" he asked. "Chicken soup," Murdoc said, stirring the noodles until they weren't stiff.

They were drained as the broth was put on heat. It started to boil and the chicken was added. "Muds, can I ask you something?" Murdoc nodded. "Why did you always beat me up, like hit me and punch me and kick me?" 2D asked. "When I was younger, like a  _lot_ younger, I acted the same way to my father as you used to act towards me—like he was the best person alive. I didn't really know my mum, so he was the only person I could show affection to. He beat me for it and called me a 'faggot'. He called me names, like Faceache and such. I thought it was a sign of affection, so when we met, I did the same to you. I realized much,  _much_ later that it was the opposite of affection," Murdoc explained, covering his face with his hands, "and I feel so fucking  _guilty_ for it."

That last part was muffled, but understandable. "I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago," 2D said, hugging Murdoc. Murdoc combined the noodles, chicken and chicken broth before stirring and getting two bowls out. He'd decided that he would have some as well. Murdoc spooned an equal amount into both bowls and put one in the fridge. "It's too hot—it'll burn you and make you sick," Murdoc explained and 2D nodded.

Soon, the soup was cooled and it was given to the singer, who took a bite and paused. He wanted to make sure he could keep it down before eating any more of it. He nodded and ate more. "It's good!" he exclaimed, taking more bites until it was gone. 2D smiled; the soup had worked well enough to make him full and not be sick. 

2D yawned, almost collapsing because of how exhausted he was. Luckily, he was caught before he hit the ground. The bluenette giggled, standing up and putting his bowl and spoon in the sink for it to be washed later. He was lifted up by the bassist and they returned to the bedroom they mostly shared. 

"Muds, do you like me now? There's love, and like. Do you dislike me and love me, or love me and like me?" 2D asked, yawning again. "I love you. And my opinion of you is a mix of like and dislike. I like most things about you, but there are things I dislike about you." 2D nodded as he was sat on the bed.

"I couldn't dislike you even if I  _wanted_ to. I've hated you, but never disliked. It's confusing and I'm tired and-" 2D started, but didn't finish as he'd fallen asleep.

Murdoc smiled and covered him with the duvet, kissing the top of his head. 


	6. [six]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2D and Murdoc clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sososo sorry for not posting this sooner. i’ve been super busy and kinda been obsessing over new vocaloid songs constantly. my new obsessions are melt, absolunote & ashes to ashes. aha. anyways, enjoy. ch 7 will either come friday or saturday, depending on how i feel.
> 
> also i featured my favorite oasis song in here (sunday morning call) and it’s an excellent song. you should listen to it.

Stuart woke up with sweat dripping down his forehead. He looked around, remembering where he was. He was in Murdoc's room, but there was no sign of the bassist.  _Maybe he's gone to the toilet_ , 2D thought, yawning and sitting up. He stood and walked to his own room, which hadn't been touched in days.

He hummed the tune of Some Kind Of Nature to himself as he began to tidy up, not feeling sick for once. His head felt numb, but it was nice. He didn't know why he'd decided to clean, but it was better than sitting around and doing nothing.

He turned some music on and continued to clean, humming along to each song and sometimes singing softly. "Here's another sunday morning call, you hear yer head a-banging on the door. Slip your shoes on and then out you crawl, into a day that couldn't give you more. But what for?" he sang as he piled clothing onto the bed.

"And in your head do you feel, what you're not supposed to feel. And you take, what you want, but you won't get it for free. You need more time, 'cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more. But I'm not sure if it ever works out right. But it's ok. It's all right," 2D continued to sing, turning the volume up louder, not noticing Murdoc standing in the doorway. 

"When you’re lonely and you start to hear, the little voices in your head at night. You will only sniff away the tears, so you can dance until the morning light. At what price?"

2D gathered up all of the garbage and dumped it into a garbage bag he'd brought in ages ago to assist in his attempts at cleaning. "And in your head, do you feel? What you're not supposed to feel. And you take what you want, but you won't get it for free. You need more time, 'cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more. But I'm not sure if it ever works out right. But it's ok. It's all right," he sang, smiling at his progress. He shoved all of the clothes into the hamper and moved it out of the way, then pulled the sheets off of the bed.

"And in your head, do you feel. What you're not supposed to feel. When you take what you want, you don't get hope for free. You need more time, 'cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more. And I'm not sure if it'll ever, ever, ever work out right. Will it ever, ever, ever work out right? 'Cos it never, never, never works out right."

He finished singing the song and Phoner To Arizona started to play. 2D hummed along to it, gasping when Murdoc knocked on the open door. He paused the music and smiled. "I was cleaning," he said softly, standing up and walking over to kiss Murdoc on the cheek—having to bend down a bit because of the height difference between himself and Murdoc. "Where'd you go?" he asked and Murdoc shrugged.

"I went down to talk to Noodle and Russel about… a  _thing_ ," Murdoc said, scratching the back of his neck. 2D raised a brow, picked up the hamper and looked at Murdoc for help. He gladly grabbed the garbage bag and they carried both things down. 2D put the dirty clothes and bedsheets into the washer while Murdoc tossed the garbage outside next to the street.

2D walked into the living room, Murdoc following him. Murdoc sat on the sofa—well, lied down on his side—and patted the spot on the cushion next to him. 2D lied down and Murdoc wrapped his arm around the singer. "I don't wanna die, Murdoc," he said, moving into the bassist's chest.

Murdoc sighed. "I know, love. I don't want you to die either, but hey—I have a surprise for you. There's something that may happen, if I make a few calls," he said and 2D's eyes widened. "What do you mean?  _What_ could happen if you make a few calls?" he asked and Murdoc smirked. "Well, I have to make the calls first. If it all works out, then I'll tell you. Okay?"

2D nodded and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately. Murdoc poked him, but the singer only groaned. " _2D_ ," he said, dragging out the  _D_.  The bluenette yawned, but still slept. Murdoc sighed, poking 2D again, sighing once more when he still slept.

Murdoc picked him up and carried him upstairs, passing Russel on the stairway and mouthing,  ' _what? He's exhausted, so I've gotta take_ _him to bed_ _'._ The drummer just shrugged and let Murdoc carry on.

Once in his own bedroom, Murdoc sat the singer down and got into bed alongside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do apologise for how immensely dhort this chapter is, but the rest of the chapters are longer (i think? i honestly don’t remember – i know ch 12 is the longest)
> 
> but yh.


	7. [seven]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2D goes to the hospital, and gets some good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so so so sorry that i haven’t updated this fic since may. i havent really updated anything the 2nd half of 2020 :/. but hopefully i’ll update a bit more next year. for now though, here’s chapter 7!

2D woke up and yawned, trying to move his arm but couldn't, as it was trapped. He looked at the sleeping Murdoc and grinned. He nudged him and the bassist yawned, rolling on his side to face the bluenette, ultimately freeing his arm. His eyes opened and light flowed into them, then he smiled. "Mornin'," he said, yawning, and kissed him on the nose.

2D smiled. "Sleep well?" he asked. "Very," the bassist stated, kissing the singer's forehead. The bluenette sighed and kissed Murdoc. "If you're gonna do it, do it right," he said, kissing him again.

"Today's the day," Murdoc sighed and 2D frowned. "I don’t want to go. I hate hospitals," he whined. "You've got to or else you won't be alive for as long," Murdoc said, reminding the bluenette of his eventual death. Just thinking about it made him begin coughing and wheezing. He had to return to the hospital to prepare for the last five months of his life. This included being notified of how it would play out and when he'd have to be admitted into the hospital.

It'd been a little over a month and a half sinced he'd been diagnosed, and each band member had reacted differently. Noodle had bawled her eyes out and refused to let go of 2D; Russel had been too shocked to react properly, but as soon as they'd returned home, he locked himself in his room; Murdoc had left the hospital completely and hadn't been seen until the next morning; 2D felt numb, and the room had begun to spin so much that he blacked out and had to be held overnight, in case something more serious happened. Now, Noodle barely left her room, Russel was quiet and Murdoc refused to leave 2D alone unless it was  _absolutely_ necessary.

They were all going to the hospital together. Noodle had refused to go at first, but was persuaded, and Russel immediately agreed.

Eventually, 2D sat up and looked around the dimly-lit room, then down at his feet. He noticed his legs were slightly thinner and tapped on Murdoc's shoulder. The bassist looked at him and 2D motioned to his legs. "They're getting thinner," he stated quietly. He'd been eating normally, so he didn't understand why this was happening.

Murdoc rubbed his shoulder soothingly. "Come on. I'll help you get ready. Maybe a doctor will know what's wrong and help," he said, kissing the bluenette on his forehead. 2D nodded.

They stood up and walked into the bathroom. “Thank you," 2D said and Murdoc helped him undress.

He gasped at the sight. Stuart was thinner than normal, and with his height, he looked like an actual skeleton. "I’m disgusting," he said and Murdoc shook his head. "No, you're beautiful. You're just sick," he stated, turning the faucet on and adjusting the temperature.

Murdoc helped 2D into the tub and helped him sit down. "I may be sick, but I’m also ugly and _disgusting_." 2D frowned, crossing his arms and covering himself. The water was warm. He liked it. "Stop lying. Liars go to Hell and you don't deserve to go to Hell," Murdoc said and 2D lied back, groaning. "Whatever," he contradicted, huffing in annoyance.

Murdoc wet 2D's hair and began to wash it, being a bit rough. The singer whimpered and Murdoc stopped. "You're being too rough," he said softly and Murdoc continued, this time gently massaging shampoo into the blue hair. The bassist helped the singer sit up and rinsed the shampoo out, replacing it with conditioner. It was coconut scented because 2D claimed it made his hair ‘soft and fluffy’.

"Someday you will find me, caught beneath the landslide. In a champagne supernova in the sky," 2D sang softly as he closed his eyes. It _strangely_ fit the situation, and brought tears to Murdoc's eyes. 2D smiled. "I’m sorry, I'll stop if you'd like," he said and Murdoc shook his head. "No, just sing another song. I like it when you sing. How _about_ – Stop The Dams, maybe?"

He paused, looking at the singer's face for any sign of approval. The bluenette nodded and breathed in shakily before beginning. "When you're smoking tinfoil in the morning, it's gonna be a cold day. When you're keeping everything inside you, it can only hurt you," he sang and Murdoc hummed along.

"That was beautiful, love," he complimented and 2D smiled, his cheeks turning pink. Murdoc pulled the bluenette into a soft kiss, their lips lingering for a bit until they separated.

Both 2D and Murdoc had decided indefinitely that they loved each other, quite possibly more than either of them let on. For a split second, 2D wanted to scream how much he love the green-skinned bassist to the world, but nothing concerning their relationship had been announced since they'd gotten together. They decided that it was best to wait until the entire band was comfortable with announcing it, and currently none of them were comfortable with doing it. So yelling out that he loved Murdoc Faust Niccals wouldn’t be the best idea. Besides, it would more than likely put him out of breath faster than he could get past yelling Murdoc's middle name.

By the time the bluenette stepped out of the bath and was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, it was time to leave. They'd also said nothing regarding the singer's fate, so hospital staff were required to go on silent mode once everything was settled.

Upon arriving at the hospital, they were immediately brought into a room on one of the top floors specifically reserved for cancer patients, causing 2D to almost vomit at both the smell of death and sight of machines. Murdoc rubbed his back as the procedure for the remaining five months of his life was explained.

"So, the last probably … _month_ of your life will be spent here. But don't worry, you'll be perfectly safe and in good hands," the doctor explained in a soft voice as to not worry the singer, who nodded with tears beginning to slowly run down his cheeks.

"Will he still be able to sing? His voice is pretty and it would be sad if he could no longer utter a note," Murdoc said, somewhat sarcastically, but let his hand rest on the bluenette's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "For a limited time, yes. However, it should be kept to a minimum," Doctor Edwards advised, causing 2D to frown. "But I'm in a band. Singing’s  _kinda_ what I do," he stated and the doctor sighed. "Stuart, it's either  _minimal_ singing– or none at all."

2D rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, needing to distance himself from the doctor, who he felt was being rather rude. "2D, wait!" he heard Murdoc call, but chose to ignore it and continued walking. "Stuart! Fucking listen! If not to the doctor, then at least listen to  _me_ !" the bassist yelled, clearly out of breath, but he wasn't willing to give up.

2D stopped and turned around to face Murdoc. The bassist gasped when he saw tears running down the bluenette's face. "You don't understand. I  _can't_ stop singing," he whispered, sniffing. Murdoc walked over to 2D and wrapped his arms around the latter, who rested his head on his shoulder.

"And it's not just because I love doing it. I don't wanna disappoint anyone. We're supposed to have another album soon and if we don't put one out, people will get suspicious and become disappointed," 2D said, still crying. "You won't disappoint anyone. And guess what? I made a few calls and– Gorillaz will be doing one last show at the O2 next Friday. It'll be a short show, with any five songs you want. That way, we can play songs you want and it'll be short, so you won't be out of breath. Plus, I've informed the staff there about your condition, so if we need to stop at any moment, I'll give them a signal and we can take a break. Okay?"

2D couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "What?" he asked, wanting confirmation. "You get to sing five songs of your choice next Friday at the O2 Arena, here in London. There are  _precautions_ set in, of course," Murdoc said and 2D wrapped his arms around the bassist.

"Do Noodle and Russel know?" he asked. "They know about me  _suggesting_ it, but they don't know about it being confirmed," he said as they walked back to the room.

* * *

While on the way back to the house, Murdoc cleared his throat. "Well, looks like we're playing a show next Friday!" he announced, eliciting gasps from the drummer and guitarist. "Really?" Noodle asked, surprised, and 2D nodded. "Yeah, and I already have songs picked out for us to play!"

Excitement coursed through the singer as he grinned.

Stop The Dams was  _finally_ going to be played live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year’s eve! this chapter is gonna b the last thing i post on ao3 in 2020 so yeah. if ur reading this, tell me what new things you did, whether that be a new show you watched or a new band/artist you discovered.
> 
> for me, i got super into bang dream! (favorite bands are poppin’party, pastel palettes and roselia. aesthetic-wise, pasupare and afterglow) and love live (riko and honoka are my favorites from muse and aquors) and d4dj (i <3 rinko & kyoko). i also started watching higurashi, demon slayer, pretty cure, cardcaptor sakura and my hero academia. plus i started watching a few new youtubers. so yeah, lemme know! i’m curious to see if y’all like some of the same stuff that i do :)

**Author's Note:**

> this is kinda gross but oh well. my writing has improved a ton since i started this fic – which was like, june of 2017. for a reference, i started listening to gorillaz in april 2017. thus, this fic was born, yada yada yada.


End file.
